Sigh!!! What’s this phenomenon that controls your emotions, makes you do things that you either regret later or cherish forever? It’s fascinating that most times we have no control over it… it just happens, sometimes I wish it was possible to decide who to have feelings for and who not to fall for because most of the time you meet demons in the guise of angels literally lol. Well having no control over who to fall for means being vulnerable and ultimately getting hurt sometimes, in fact most times. Other times you end up falling for someone you can’t be with, like my family friend,Bimbo (not real name) who had fallen in love with this ‘perfect guy’ only to find out he had been married for just a few months, worst part is he was engaged when they met. At least she moved on, some women would have fallen way too deep and feel like living another day without the person isn’t life at all(well this never ends well).

Apart from falling for someone that’s married there are other times you know you can’t be with the person but you just continue anyway following your heart when really even your heart is signalling danger. Feelings cloud your judgement, you see something is wrong, you just can feel it (women have this strong instinct and we’re always right…well mostly right) but you just don’t want to believe it, you want a fairy tale ending, you don’t want to stop feeling what you’re feeling even though what you’re feeling is most likely not gonna end well.

Other times feelings are just so temporary! And then you look back and wonder what you ever saw in that person, typically its Boy meets girl, they get to know each other, they’re smitten and then after a while boom! It’s gone lool where did it go? Why does his calls annoy me now? Why don’t I feel anything any more? Well that usually happens after you might have made out or had sex a couple of times then you start to regret, Usually its one person that feels this way at first then the other person starts feeling used and ultimately they both start regretting doing anything in the first place (except the guys lmao)  but my dear don’t regret, Rihanna once said on a red carpet ( I can’t believe I’m quoting Rihanna here) ‘Never a failure, always a lesson’ well she’s soo right, never regret doing anything because believe it or not you both used each other by satisfying your feelings and urge at that moment and after you get past the hurt and the feeling of being used, you can reminisce on that moment and smile, I’m kidding lol, you should feel blessed because once you have asked for God’s forgiveness, you are free from the hurt, pain, regret and feeling of rejection 2 Corinthians 5:17 says  “Therefore if any person is [ingrafted] in Christ (the Messiah) he is a new creation (a new creature altogether); the old [previous moral and spiritual condition] has passed away. Behold, the fresh and new has come!” (Amplified version) this passage gives me so much hope and joy because it just shows how merciful God is, that whatever it is you might have done is irrelevant because now you’re in Christ.

It so common, also falling for someone when they don’t feel the same way or falling way too much when the other person doesn’t even feel half as much as you do and this hurts as hell, you find yourself restraining yourself from that person, you try not to act so clingy and emotional because sometimes you’re not so sure what the person feels for you exactly so you don’t want to appear ‘clingy’ or act like you care too much, sometimes because you’ve gotten hurt before you know better. Most times this person has the power to control your mood, how happy or sad you are, a message can make you happy for a while and another message can make you feel so bad…sometimes the person acts so nonchalant and it breaks your heart into a million pieces and then you decide to free the person then just a simple ‘hello’ can change your mind again… Sigh…feelings, but hey other times feelings are true and pure, it grows into something so strong and powerful some call it love lol other times its prolonged infatuation but then this love thing is a topic for another day. 

Sometimes when feelings develop and you find someone who feels strongly about you as you feel for them it’s beautiful because you can be yourself completely, you can let your guard down even though you get hurt you know it’s worth it. The best thing is just to pray about it (yes pray!!) At the end of the day, feelings can either be bad or good, sometimes its necessary to experience the bad so you can value the good.



5 thoughts on “Feelings…

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