Sex Before I Say “I do”



YASS! Let’s talk about this controversial topic, is it even controversial? Anyways these days it seems as though sex is becoming the order of the day, some guys will tell you they can’t date a girl who won’t have sex with them…hmmm…I blame society that makes guys feel like they are entitled to sex even when they aren’t married.

Sex is now so cheap, it’s so easy to come by and I’m not even talking about getting it from commercial sex workers, I’m talking about regular babes who feel the need to have sex to keep a guy or simply to get his attention. It’s so annoying when girls feel they need to sleep with a guy just to keep him, like if you don’t have sex with him he would go out and get it somewhere else then let him!

Society is to blame mostly because they have put so much pressure on women, they make it okay for guys to sleep with several girls but if a girl does the same she’s a whore??? Urm guys are sluts too! Because I don’t know where it’s ever okay to sleep with several girls and be considered a ‘bad guy’, I personally do not like guys like this, I can’t even be attracted to them because they disgust me(Although when I was younger and foolish I was attracted to a few of them).

Pre-marital sex is wrong for both men and women, no one has any special prerogative to it, I don’t care if you have been together for 10 years, if he wants to have sex so badly let him put a ring on it. Now people would say we do everything except have sex…errrrr hold up! All those other things kor? The smooching, the touching etc,  and even oral sex there’s a reason why there is sex behind it oo lol they didn’t call it oral sensation lmao, anyways I’m guilty of this too, I’m going to be real honest.

Sometimes we feel like we just have to do something, that it’s impossible not to do anything but let me tell you it’s very possible! it’s all about having the love of God in your heart, so many of us would claim we love God but please read John 14:15 it says ‘If ye love me, keep my commandments’ and God has told us fornication is prohibited so how can we love him but yet be getting down every other day??? It’s just like your boyfriend saying he loves you but cheats on you in your face and doesn’t even care to hide it, abeg what kind of love is that? I always say I love God, I love God, but then I asked myself, does my character really reflect this love I claim to have?

You might think I’ve started, it’s impossible to stop, the urges bla bla bla, please it is very possible to stop; The first step is making the decision, second step is asking our only ultimate helper Jesus Christ for help and the third is continually avoid or should I say FLEE from temptations! When that girl/guy says you should hang out in a place where you would be alone or asks you to come over abeg DO NOT GO! Don’t say I can control it, my dear you cannot control it ooo that’s why God said we should flee in the first place because your emotions/body will definitely get the best of you, trust me I have been there, done that and I can tell you, you can’t trust yourself!

If you must hang with that person that you’re attracted to at least let it be in a public place, a very public place, don’t answer when he/she says lets ‘chill’ in the car for a bit, that’s even the worst.

With the help of God it’s very possible to save yourself for marriage and it’s not just about saving it for that special someone it’s because of the love and fear of God, it shows reverence to His commandments.  At the end of the day there are so many downsides to having pre-marital sex, it only leads to trouble like STDs, unwanted pregnancies, abortion, heart-break, depression etc. I might be sounding judgemental but really I’m not, I hate being judged so I wouldn’t judge anyone, this is more like an advice in fact I’m advising myself too as I write this lol.

The moral compass of youths these days is degrading, it’s almost like no one cares anymore, everyone is shouting “we’ve got one life to live” but should we now live it in a sinful way? Is that how to live to the fullest by being reckless? How about living a purpose filled life? A life constantly conscious of the presence of God, I tell you that’s the best kind ever, you will feel fulfilled, I’m very much a work in progress, this might sound cliché but it’s true, I write this from my personal experience and from true life stories. So let’s try it now! Start living for God!!





11 thoughts on “Sex Before I Say “I do”

  1. very true talk. men feel sex is their right. well if they feel they should have it, they should put a ring on the lady’s hand. they will not allow their daughters to have sex with other men but they want to have sex with other people’s daughters.


    1. Put a ring on it, maybe you need to give more clarity because a guy can put a ring on it and make the babe “lady of the ring” or “ring bearer” for years, does that give him am entitlement to sex even tho they havent said “i do” but there is “a ring on it”?


  2. Lol…well i think i can relate to what has been said on here. For you to be able to say no to these things, one has to make a conscious decision. It’s really not easy trying to control oneself, but at the same time shall we continue in sin that grace may abound? i was once told that when we do these unholy things and acts especially fornication, adultery either via imaginations or the act itself, your prayers to God may not even pass the roof and that scares me. Everyone talks about the enjoyment and what they do derive from the act called sex but no one or very few talk about the spiritual implication of it, and this is the most scary part if you decide to read up on it. All that urge you have or had will just shrink. Imagine having sex with some very lovely looking lady that doesn’t even know or have a clue she’s possessed or some guy as a result of what they’ve eaten, people they’ve had sex with or some form of cult or association they’ve joined. The scariest part of it is that some of those that are possessed don’t even know it, and some are fully aware of it but they have made up their mind others will go down with them. With that said, God’s grace is needed to abstain from this act. Had to quit my last relationship cos of some issues, And a few minutes of pleasure is not worth jeopardizing your life and destiny. God help us all. I’m not a saint oh! i’m begging God to help me stay till marriage!


    1. my goodness! you’re so accurate, I would like to add that having thoughts about it unconsciously isn’t a sin, it is acting on it that makes it one; we shouldn’t sit and start thinking of sex but sometimes it creeps up , all we have to do is pray and ask for God’s grace, we are sexual beings so its bound to come up. I pray God helps us all and if you need to talk just contact me on my email. thanks alot for reading 😀


      1. Well @darlesblog…you’re welcome. feeling like you wanna have sex is okay but can you have that thought when you’re unconscious? About lust and having several sexual fantasies and imaginations you can check out… Matt 5 vs 28. Use other versions like AMP and get a clearer clarification and let me know your thoughts.


  3. Wow, it’s very true, but one needs to actually decide not to go in that direction and ask for the help of the Holyspirit. We shouldnt act like, the whole world is doing it and it’s a norm in the society then I should join. Make a decision today. Sometimes I find myself in a place alone with the one I love and things happen and I beat myself to it but then I realised being in that space alone will always lead to things happening , we are flesh and not stone. The best way is just to hang out in public places.


  4. Lol! very true… but it’s quite difficult to control yourself especially when you’re around the person you love…even in a public place!!!


    1. Then that place is not public enough lool kidding, it takes two to tango, if your partner doesn’t have the same faith and values as you do, it becomes very difficult, so its important to be with someone who is equally fervent and determined in his journey with Christ. Thanks for reading boo


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