I have heard it way too many times about how young people these days always want to grow up so fast and how the older folks wish they could be young again. I believe that was Jay-z’s motivation for the song ‘forever young’ abi? Anyways, it suddenly just hit me that I have actually had the wrong priorities for a while now.
I’ll be talking about growing up too fast in the relationship aspect because there are so many ways we try to grow faster than our ages.
I don’t know why but for some reason, these days, you find young folks in their early 20s, especially the ladies in ‘serious relationships’ and to be honest we shouldn’t be there! Yes, we shouldn’t be in serious relationships at this point. Now a lot of people would definitely disagree with this but its true. For example, I tend to be all in when I’m in a relationship, I literally act like a leech. I want to call the person every day, want to see the person every day, I would want us to plan our lives and talk about our future often and I’m not even ready for marriage. Imagine constantly talking about how you would get married and basically plan your life in sync with another person. I become less of an individual with my own plans and become an “us-dividual” lmao, yes I know that’s not a word. The point is I get carried away when I haven’t even matured enough.
If you’re like me then you have no business getting into any serious relationship, please you should only be dating casually, NO PRESSURE WHATSOEVER.
I recently just discovered that dating is different from courtship, I thought they were the same but apparently courtship starts the moment the man proposes and it’s not all those promise proposals oo e.g. “I’m going to marry you, you’re my wife, I wish I could marry you right now” “take this promise ring” its proper proposal like getting down on one knee, going with your whole family to meet your partner’s family then you start courting and that is the critical stage.
When you’re in love with someone, you feel like life can’t go on without the person but guess what, the way life will continue ehn, it would even knock you down if you don’t go along with it. All those promises about “I will love you forever” and “I won’t date another after you” are all lieesssss!! They will move on so quickly; you would doubt every word they said to you. Even in the process of them moving on they sometimes even try to string you along as well, telling you they still love you and you will be feeling bad for even breaking up in the first place but dear do not be fooled! They are only trying their luck seeing which would work out.
The worst part is the same person you caught them flirting with while you were together is the same person they will first return to, they would even most likely have a bunch of people they are flirting with and you are probably the last thing on their minds.
While you’re here forming heartbreak, trying to move on and enduring the pain, he/she is over there with another person enjoying their life siggghhhh.
So take it from someone who has experienced this first hand, DON’T DO SERIOUS RELATIONSHIPS!! Let this be your formative years!! FALL IN LOVE WITH GOD, get to know Him, have fun, travel around(even if its obudu cattle ranch), build long lasting friendships (of which I’m looking for new friends, apply within lool), make money, discover your purpose and passion and go for it, eat junk food and try to be healthy at the same time, aspire for great great things, plan for your future, work hard but don’t overburden your minds.
As I am, I’m trying desperately to reconstruct my mind because I have had the wrong mentality for so long. Single people will be envying those in relationships and I just laugh. Now when I see cute couples, I’m just like awwwwwn, it doesn’t affect me, it just makes me happy knowing that there’s hope lol.
If you’re in your early 20s, serious relationships should be the last thing on your mind, the Bible says “the heart of man is wicked” so why put your trust in man? Why devote your young, vibrant and youthful years to another human being only to receive disappointments? Let’s occupy that “Bae” space with Jesus mehn, He can never break your heart.
And I know “they” say falling in love is part of the growing process but I don’t think it’s absolutely necessary. If you have fallen in love and suffered heart break, congrats!! now you can move on; but if you haven’t even fallen in love please don’t! NOT YET! Not till you know for sure that this person is God sent. For those in love I’m very happy for you, in as much as you’re in a relationship be your own person! Have your space, build yourself and don’t have sex, so if the person walks out tomorrow you won’t feel like half of your soul has been cut out.
So that’s it guys, straight from my heart to you! not everyone would agree with this but this is how I see it. Life really is short, live it happily, joyfully, purposefully tied to God and not man!
P.S -Download this song and listen to the words, really powerful- “No Gray” by Jonathan McReynolds