Have you ever fallen in love before? I used to consider myself as a hopeless romantic, thank God I’m not hopeless anymore. I used to feel everything deeply, if I love, I would love deeply and ultimately when the heartbreak begun I would feel that deeply as well.
In my post about growing up way too fast, I advised that it was better not to fall in love until you were sure that the person is “the one”; I said this because falling in love is like falling down a pit not knowing when or where you would land. It’s either you land on a rocky surface, OUCH! Or you land on a bed of pillows and just wallow there forever. Sometimes you fall on a rocky surface and your heart breaks but you still remain there and hand that same heart to that same wrong person because you feel like you’re in too deep already.
Growing up as a “hopeless romantic” I imagined my love life from a young age, I told myself I was going to date a category of persons before finally settling down, smh, so I made a list
A well-built man
An extremely wealthy man
A drop dead gorgeous guy
Someone quite older than me
What I didn’t realize while making this list was that in some relationships part of the requirements was sexual intimacy which of course I was soo not ready for and you dont base your choice on physical attributes alone. I carried this list in my head for a while and needless to say I couldn’t fulfil my childhood dream of dating all of the types of the above mentioned people *sobs. The one that hurt the most was not dating a biker, but who knows hehehe.
Some of us are stuck in this fantasy of the ideal man/woman we want. I was talking to a man recently who was quite old and I asked why he wasn’t married as he was mature and financially capable enough; he told me it was because he gave his best in relationships (material things) he expected that whomever he was dating had to give her best as well (be perfect). It shocked me that someone that old still didn’t understand that life was way more that material possessions and relationships involved a whole lot more than giving stuff.
Is life not more than food and the body more than clothing? Matthew 6:25b
Wanting certain features in a partner is fine when it’s based on character and when you know it will go in sync with your character as well. Just because the person looks the role absolutely doesn’t mean that’s the love of your life. I remember dating someone and thinking omg! This is my prince charming and I just knew he was too good to be true loool I was so right. He seemed “perfect” but of course the heart of man is wicked hehe.
Let’s not get lost in fantasy land picturing our “ideal” partner before you will turn 40 and SETTLE for whoever/whatever comes your way. Having this picture in our head is what causes us to fall for the wrong people and end up getting hurt.
The wife God has destined for you might be a size zero but you’re looking for a thick babe and the husband God has destined for you might be a chubby, cute, short man but naahh you want Tall, dark and handsome, remain there o lmao. Be forming you have a “type”. In fact some marriages that usually last longer are the ones that married the exact opposite of their “types” yes!
One thing I know for sure is that God doesn’t disappoint. His thoughts towards you are of good and never of evil. He will never give you anything but the best; but naturally human beings tend to spoil things. By the time you struggle and ignore all the red flags and eventually marry your “dream girl/guy” you will now be regretting, living a life of depression and sadness.
It’s not compulsory to date frogs while waiting for your prince charming, why don’t you just HOLLUP for God’s time. I know it’s easier said than done, yass I know, but God loves patience that’s why it’s one of the fruits of the Spirit. The more patient you are, the more beautiful your package.
So the next time you start catching feelings for that seemingly perfect person remember you have more years ahead of you than behind you, ASK GOD and trust His answer.
P.S: download this beautiful song from the last post; Relentless by Hillsong