Yess I know! What lessons could you possibly learn from a relationship that probably broke your heart or didn’t go as planned. Well, I have discovered that there’s always a lesson to be learnt from every mistake. I’ll rather see it as a lesson than to be sitting there in regret and be sulking.
Someone said surely there must have been good things that came out from my previous relationships instead of using them as bad examples in my previous posts lol, so that kind of inspired this post. I am not a bitter ex lmao, I just learnt more bad than good hehehe.
So here goes my lessons which I hope someone would learn from or can relate to-
- IF YOU’RE A LADY, DON’T LOVE YOUR MAN MORE THAN HE LOVES YOU–
Yassss! Too many girls, women and ladies loving their men too much, yes too much! Women are naturally emotional beings and I’m like over- emotional! I tend to be clingy and really into relationships while men are like the opposite. A man has to really like you before he would show it to the extent of people seeing it. In one of my relationships, it was so obvious that I was more into him than he was to me. I did most of the calling, texting (yes I should have let go lool) and visiting while he basically did nothing. I would like to think he liked me too but then my own was too much lol. I always advice that a guy should love a woman more because then it would balance it out. Learn from the story of Jacob, he obviously loved Rachel so much more, Genesis 29:10-18. Even after they were married she was still nagging him for a child Genesis 30:1; but he still loved her more than the woman bearing him children.
- DON’T DATE SOMEONE YOU BARELY KNOW– Now while this might not necessarily apply to everyone, PLEASE NEVER JUMP INTO RELATIONSHIPS. Remember Prince charming from the last post, well yeah I literally dived into the relationship blind after such a short period of time. Don’t just take their word for it, RESEARCH, Yes research! Watch how s/he relates with his friends, the kind of friends s/he has (make sure they are not scrubs), watch how s/he talks about his family and ask questions! There’s no better way than praying because sometimes you can’t find out everything but only God can reveal even the deepest secret of man. Your potential boo might just be a serial lover out on revenge on the woman/man race lool. Don’t fall for the constant calls, the show of affection, the dates, the chivalry etc. Even Samson in the Bible made this mistake Judges 16:4, he fell in love with a woman he barely knew and it cost him his life!
- DON’T DATE A KISS AND TELL– Someone that would broadcast your relationship and tell the whole world your private business. Its okay to seek advice from friends and all but be mindful of the kind of friends. A mature person would know what s/he can tell friends
- DON’T DATE A REPENTANT PLAYER- ehen yes I said it! Of course everyone deserves a second chance but only when they are now new creatures AKA born again. Some would say “I used to be this but I have changed now” but what triggered the change? Was it because they were scared of karma or because they were just tired? Those are lame reasons to change and if it’s not inspired by Jesus they will surely go back to it because that’s human being’s nature.
- HAVE FUN, IT’S NEVER THAT SERIOUS– I used to take relationships personal as if it’s a do or die affair but abeg life isn’t about marriage alone oo, Yes ke! I have my life to live and purpose to fulfil; I can’t let a relationship get in the way of that. You will find yourself thinking okay “I will relocate because of this person, I won’t do this because of this person”, Before you know it, the relationship will be all you achieve in life. By the time you adjust and adjust and change your entire life for one person you will have nothing left.
- DON’T ABANDON YOUR FRIENDS– Now this obviously, most of the times, isn’t intentional but it happens. I am still trying to recover from the after effect myself *sobs. Relationships can be demanding, you want to see the person all the time but then your friends also want to hang out. Like I said, it’s never that serious, so why don’t you balance it out and if your boo has a problem with that, it’s time to tell that guy/girl bye!
- IF S/HE AINT INTO YOU, DON’T PUSH IT– It’s not by force, even if you have started dating; sometimes people get tired/bored in relationships. Yes, it sucks but it saves a lot of embarrassment and emotional trauma.
- IF THERE’S A COMMA NEVER GO INTO THE RELATIONSHIP– “She’s ambitious, caring, successful BUT she’s quite stingy” or “He’s everything I want in a man BUT he can’t wait till marriage for sex” abeg don’t go into the relationship. If there’s a “BUT” that you know you can’t deal with then basically there’s no point. That BUT will never leave the relationship. In fact, it will only get bigger with time.
So that’s it guys, for those that don’t have exes, I implore you to follow these advises or send in your own lessons learnt later on lol. I know that this list is not exhaustive so I would like to hear your own stories and the lessons learnt (or if you’re still trying to figure out the lesson lmao) I would like to know.
At the end of the day the key is to stay true to your Maker and yourself.