Yes! Let’s talk about all those complicated relationships that we just can’t define. The one where you’re not sure where you stand, where you’re waiting for the other person (mostly the guy) to define what exactly you two are.
Haven’t we all been in one of these? sometimes it just happens and other times we intentionally put ourselves there. Whether it’s because you really like this person but you know it just won’t work or because you’re not ready to be in a relationship but you still feel needy. Whatever the reason, it’s pointless and will always be pointless. While you might be thinking YOLO, gotta live life in the moment etc, you’re merely wasting precious time. What amazes me is that it’s evident this situationships lead nowhere but we still feel its okay to be in them.
Mostly, one person gets more hurt than the other person involved, sometimes the other person feels absolutely nothing, which is even worse. Sometimes, they both agree either silently or audibly to be “special friends” haha, and it’s all fun for a while until someone starts catching feelings. Most times one person already goes in with feelings expecting things to change but nah.
Some people would say they didn’t mean to get into these awkward situations but I believe we always know what a person’s intentions are even if they try to conceal it. However, these are the top signs I have observed that say “NO FUTURE HERE” lol;
- All they talk about is basic and sexual– uhuh! they will talk about the most basic and random things always just before they delve into asking what you’re wearing lol. It’s not always that format but you get the point. They never want to talk deeply like ask what your goals and aspirations are or what you value in life etc.
- Never make the extra effort- Huh! this is possibly the worst and most painful. You hardly receive calls from them during the day, they don’t want to go on serious dates and they never go all out on your birthdays. Like helloo the whole world should know it’s your birthday if y’all had a future.(lol very vain, I know, but once again you get the point)
- Never there for you– Hmmmn… when you’re having an emotional breakdown or a bad day, you can’t count on them to make you feel better. Sometimes, they would even make you feel worse. It just shows how much they do not care.
- They never define where you stand- Perhaps this is the most obvious one. They just want to “hang” “chill” “live in the moment” ain’t nobody gat time for that! Gotta keep it moving.
There are so many signs but these are the most basic ones that happen almost all the time. If you’re still in doubt, my advice, ask the person point blank ” what are we?? Que sommes- nous? Just for emphasis lol. Even when you get to the point of asking this question, you know there’s a problem. A person should know if they want to commit or not and if they don’t, what’s the point my dear? I agree that life should be enjoyed and we should live in the moment BUT except you have a heart of stone, don’t play with your emotions. Don’t assume you can be intimate with your feelings without getting hurt if it goes south.
From me to you, live a situationship free 2017 and forever!