How important is “chemistry”?


Or should I say attraction, we’ve all been attracted to people before, or felt like we “clicked” with a person and even though it may have not led to anything, the feeling was nice for that moment.  Which brings me to my topic, when it’s time to settle with the person God has destined for you, do you have to be attracted to the person? 

I have heard stories from married people who said they would have never thought they would end up with their spouse simply because the initial attraction wasn’t there. Being a romantic, this never quite appealed to me. I love the idea of falling in love with a person and the whole process that goes with it. I expect that for “the one” it should feel like nothing I’ve ever felt before.

attraction 2

So how important are the looks?does the person have to be well spoken or do you manage the grammatical errors every now and then? Must the person know how to dress up properly or is it something you can teach them? I remember watching a seminar online about relationships and marriage and someone asked: “how do you deal with an ugly guy” I found this quite funny because she was already married to this “ugly guy” but she must have still been struggling to live with it. You would think that getting married meant she was sure and must have felt something strong for her to go ahead and marry him (btw no one is ugly, everyone is beautiful 🙂 ), but obviously it doesn’t suddenly change after marriage.

Therefore if you feel like you can’t handle something about the person, I genuinely believe you shouldn’t compromise. I wrote a post about meeting the one, and definitely, some standards are too shallow to have for what you want in a partner, but I also wrote don’t marry what you can’t live with. Some things would never change about them, only God would change them, marriage wouldn’t. Just because s/he is a good Christian, loves God, is a genuinely good person, absolutely does not mean they are meant for you. and it’s not every Christian sister/brother that approaches you for a relationship means you’re destined for each other, lol if only it was like that. So don’t feel like you’re “obliged” to.

However, attraction grows, if you feel at peace with this person and you know for sure this is it, and the person feels the same way(I cannot overemphasize this) then wait, pray and definitely the attraction would come even when you least expect it. God’s plans towards us are always of good, He wouldn’t let you get stuck with someone you can’t stand being with or a person you’re not happy with.

And when I say attraction I don’t mean random feelings in your stomach or in your groins, I mean connection that goes deeper, intellectually, from the heart, you can see your goals align with theirs and to some extent, physical attraction, how they take care of themselves and personal grooming, also their level of generosity and love for others. Really the list is endless but it largely depends on the kind of person you are. So if you ask how important is chemistry, I would say in the long run, it is very important.

chemistry 2



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